Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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