Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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