Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
