When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Actions speak louder than pants.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
