Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize