Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
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