Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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