hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
