she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
