i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
