Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
