even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
