i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Randomize
