it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
