My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
