he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I think a kid would responsible me up
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
