take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
