either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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