this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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