i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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