she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
