Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Everyone says I win the strip club
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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