It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
