Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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