absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
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I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
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UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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