I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just cropdusted the office
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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