I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
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