My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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