I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
