we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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