YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
