TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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