dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
