iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
whose ass print is on the piano?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize