I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
