i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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