So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
