Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
