and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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