Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
