just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
