I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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