Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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