From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Randomize
