He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
