I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
