just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Pooping to opera.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
