i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
