There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
