I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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