____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize