I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
