I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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