My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
