there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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