so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
