dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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